Alan L. Foote
This is not a musical – although there is music,
sort of. It may not even be classified as a drama
and to some the comedy, if you want to
call it that, may be questionable.
There is no particular point that the author is
endeavoring to make, nor lessons taught.
If you are expecting to learn something or to be
motivated in any way by this presentation,
chances are very good that you are
in the wrong place.
Wormwood is downright irreverent, and probably
serves no purposes at all.
But then again,
it could very well change you life forever.
STOP THE PRESSES!
STOP THE PRESSES!
If you loved Grumpy Old Men; if you shed a tear with
Grumpier Older Men; if your heart ached for
Older Men Just Get Grumpier; of if you cried
out loud at Grumpy Old Men Die and Become
Old and Moldy, then get out a box of Kleenex cause
you're going to weep, and perhaps even howl at
To a Redneck, WORMWOOD is sacred ground – like
Hamlet, Moby Dick,or Fun with Dick and Jane.
Pa : Late forties -”Wanna-be” prize fighter, who in his glory days, which were few and far between, took one too many punches to the head. Now making his way in the forest, Pa Jack doesn't seem to mind, or even notice, his seriously dysfunctional family / off-spring.
Ma : In her mind she is living a 'dream-dome-true' with the man of her dream / well-bread children (not) / and a lifestyle as spicy as her spaghetti. Nothing seems to get in her way or gets her down. She is totally loving of her back-woodsy lifestyle. Of course, this is just all in her mind.
Uncle Chip ; Pa Jack's crusty older brother – lost a leg in a sawmill accident. He is loving, supportive, and mostly, in the way.
Stump : He is the older son of Ma and Pa Jack. As a young man a tree fell on him breaking his neck. It was never set and, thus, his head continually flops in his plate if he is not careful.
Lloyd : 30's – What he lacks in appearance, he makes up in intellect – always quoting great writers, he seems to have all the answers to every questionable situation.
Ponderosa : Late 20's – she is very schizophrenic – hungry for attention and very extravagant in everything she is about and does. She fills the room with her gregarious nature and, if she doesn't get her way, she knows how to pout.
Ivan / Walter : Late teens. Ivan and Walter are Russian exchange students who 'just don't have a clue,' And how they ended up with the Jacks – well, we just don't have a clue.
Mortimer M. Balm : Of German decent, eccentric Mr. Balm is the local mortician who also has a license as a taxidermist. His slogan is, “The gift that keeps on living.”
Luna E. Clips : This vampish creature of the night is Mortimer Balm's version of the ultimate blonde joke – except Luna is not a blonde.
Grandma / Grandpa : Ma Jack's mother and father who have received the services of Mortimer M. Balm, and are brought to the Jack home to 'occupy space' as a constant reminder of the solidarity of this ever-increasingly dysfunctional family.
The Priest : Middle-aged – handsome to the eye – very proper in his priestly duties, honestly desirous of gifting 'light' to those around him, he suddenly finds himself caught in a situation his experience has not prepared him for.
Script Available Upon Request